Sunlight poured through heavy clouds like vicose raindrops.

Open up, blind man, before the world puts the wrong face on you.

The H1N1 virus has hit Alabama, closing several public schools and all athetics, as far as I've heard.  This is, of course, the politically correct term for what is otherwise known as the 'swine flu.'  I have been hearing about the two sick children all day but it has not been confirmed nationally yet, so maybe we are in the clear for now.  I washed my hands entirely too much today, but pandemic or not, it doesn't kill to be clean [wackawacka!]. 

So where is a cure when you need one?  In development because viruses and bacterium evolve, like all life, and we can not predict in what ways these strictly animals diseases will mutate and threaten humans.  Man this world is so entirely fascinating!  But who knows when something more serious than a mutated flu-like illness will surface and be an instant level 6 pandemic, an absolute killer.  Imagine how many lives will be taken in the process of waiting for science to work its magic. 

Family Guy makes me so incredibly happy.  My enjoyment from this show is endless.

I stole my mother's work computer so I could write this pointless entry, and I am so flipping tired right now that I am afraid I will not wake in time to return it to madre before she leaves and I am certainly too exhausted to carry it down now.  It seems lazy, but do you know what is surprising to even me?  Random, but on the topic of lazy; I was laying here a little earlier so exhausted thinking I wouldn't even make it to the bathroom to wash my face and brush my teeth and all of those bedtime duties.  But THEN I just got so paranoid about cavaties and my face being all broken out tomorrow that I had to get up and do it!  Maybe I can wake myself to to take this downst -- forget it.

Oh, hello.  This entry was pointless.  I should sleep.

P.S. I played on the grand piano today and wrote a great deal.  This day just got a +2!

The History Channel provides endless entertainment and I never watch without learning something new and amazing, but I should never let myself watch these end of the world, Nostradamus, or even How The Earth Was Made shows.  I am always so frightened after.  They are brilliant, and of course I support the pure science and I DO want to know when something awful may occur, but I think I will blacklist these programs so I can live my life without worry of polar shift, mega tsunamis, and astroids.  Either way, I think Alabama is where I am geographically safe.  No Miami, Boston, or New York City for me; that's for sure.

So what else does this day bring?  Well, how about that swine flu?  Frightening, but I must express my scientific appreciation for these viruses as they continue to evolve.  Who can possibly argue evolution these days?  I would like to meet someone and see what their argument was without mention of The Holy Bible.  I love my God, but that doesn't imply I'm an uneducated moron.  How people must completely separate the two I will never know.

Oddly enough I stopped writing for a few months and am now back into the swing of things.  I have learned with my ADD medication that, though entirely focused on certain activities and tasks, I have to force myself into something I truly want to do before my brain is able to log in to something.  It is so impossible to explain, and I imagine only someone recently introduced to this medication can understand how it feels.  It works; that is for sure.  The world would probably be a better place if everyone was medicated with the proper dose for individual needs.  The only downside for me is that my dosage now wears off entirely too early and I can easily become accidentally hooked on a certain thing.  Sudoku for example.  I love Sudoku, as well as crosswords and other words games, and I participate in the completion of these quite often; however, it is not a bit practical to do Sudoku puzzles for five hours, but this is what happens to me.  While my brain is bouncing around object-to-object finding what it wants to do, it can easily get attached to something entertaining as opposed to what I truly need to be doing.  Perhaps it is a learned thing, or maybe I need to try another medication rather than Vyvanse itself, but at least I am learning how to write and read the things I enjoy once more.  That is quite the accomplishment.

I find I dislike Kristen Stewart's acting more and more these days.  In all honesty, I place Robert Pattinson in the same category.  I keep hoping that I am bitter about the Twilight film simply because of how much I loved the book and the other two following it, but the more I watch it, the more I hate it.  Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone was actually a huge let-down for me, and even since I have found many events and situations I wish had been mentioned, omitted, etc. from the films.  But in spite of my book-to-film comparisons and disappointments, today I love all five films without hesitation.  I no longer care about SPEW not being featured or any nit-picky complaint.  I do wonder if it is because I am, perhaps, so far removed from reading the first books that I no longer have such a fresh comparison to make.  Will Twilight be the same for me one day?  Will I forget why I loved the book solely and hated the production?  Will I learn to love Edward Cullen AND Cedric Diggory?  I surely hope so, because as things stand, I wish to boycott the viewing of New Moon and I pray daily that Breaking Dawn will never go into production.

I am learning to hate all things Florida.

I imagined loving you was the closest I would ever make it to heaven.  For so many years those majestic gates could not have seemed any further from my reach.  Even the heavenly winds blowing through the grasses taunted me as the long arms, green and delicate, danced soundlessly with grace.  Yet with someone whose relationship with God was all but nonexistent, you looked upon me with the love and devotion of religion.  Nearly eight hundred days later and I doubt my own father could recognize the pain in this face.  On a cloudy day I will speak your name and the sky will part as a golden suns melts my callous frame.  I will speak your name. 

I haven't been able to sleep all weekend.

I just took my first Zoloft and I actually think it may be giving me too much focus because all I can do is think, think, think and plan, plan, plan.

I really miss the boy, and Xandra of course.  I cannot wait to see photos and have them within range of communication. =]

The Mayor's Cup 5K is April 25th and if I can get my fat ass into shape, I am so game.

Ugh I miss Leslie.  All I want to do in move to North Carolina already but I know I have to figure out this school thing first, as annoying as it is to face.

My next counseling session is the Tuesday after spring break.  Hopefully by then I'll see some positive changes.

I'm watching All Grown Up on television. =]  I miss those Rugrats.

To sleep or not to sleep?  That is the question.

Dear world,

It's snowing in Alabama.

Let us all rejoice.

P.S. I am in lovelovelovelovelove. <3

Love,
Jessica

the moving of things

her leg shone white like a porcelain sky
as she turned her face into an aliby
well it was tarnished gold on a rogue falsetto
when the pain went numb and the ground said hello morning dew
it's nice to sit and talk to you.